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A story about Survivors.
Well what would you share?
Tales on how you managed to survive with your trusty delicious Soreen of course!Soreen is the GOLIATH of Malt Loafs/loaves.
It's delicious and in fact if I had to make up a word – which I can as I am the only survivor on this planet then I would go as far as saying it is absoluciouslynicety. It's even better than Coffee which I can't find anywhere. As the electricity is very intermittent the vending machines seem to only dispense cold coffee, don't get me wrong I do love coffee but I prefer it hot, ever had cold coffee – no thanks!!
So anyway one day I am sat staring out across the Yorkshire moors which is the only place that does not seem to have changed since the war and it is the only place I can sit and wonder “what if” without distractions of broken buildings and the fires that rage through buildings still. I noticed this building that was just far enough to see but would seem like forever to get there, it was like seeing chocolate from a toddlers eyes – it's there but you just can't reach it.
So I set off walking across the moors, minding all the stuff cows have left behind, that stuff stinks! And going through various rivers/streams too, so I arrive at this house which seems to have its own power source. I approached the gate and prized it open with a screwdriver that just happened to be there when I looked randomly around, I thought it only happened in films I thought to myself. Luckily for me that was the only illegal thing I had ever done. On that day.
When out of no where I had a voice scream out....
STOP!Don't turn around just shout out your name!
So I replied STEVE – WHO ARE YOU?
WHAT DO YOU WANT? the voice replied?
JUST SOME BUTTER I said back
OH? AND WHY IS THAT?? said the voice all confused, as I guess you would be really.
FOR MY SOREEN OBVIOUSLY?
SOREEN?!?, the voice said as it got closer, well why didn’t you say so we love Soreen here.
The person eventually came into view out of the darkness in front of me by the side of some steps and I just laughed, why I laughed is because this person was dressed in a huge costume of Soreen. Like the kinda costume you see PR folks wear in supermarkets and shopping centres throughout the UK.
The voice introduced himself as Eric and he said inside the house of Soreen I would meet other Soreen lovers who he named as:Rita - the shy, she doesn’t say much but man she wolves that Soreen down like an animal. Which apparently is the correct way to eat it.Oswald - the conspiracy theorist – he believes that the moon is made of Cheese and is dedicated to proving it.Nana Sticky Fingers - she is in charge of cutting up the Soreen twice per day.Edna – She is the second 'NAN' figure to all and the Mum to Eric.
Each of them, except Eric had a tee-shirt on with the 1st letter of their name on. I asked Eric to take off that costume as I really couldn't stop laughing at him and low and behold he had an E on his tee.
The house was lovely and warm with empty Soreen packets on the wall – I really was amongst fellow fans I thought. So I explained where I came from in a kind of meeting that you would see on films with people who are addicted to things. I started with I am Steve and I am so many years old etc and then it clicked.
I removed my jacket and turned to Oswald and asked – what if we were all meant to meet?He asked, hmm why do you think that?
I said look at our teeshirts, what does it spell?Eon ResEon Res I asked, what the eck is Eon Res?I dont know Oswald replied, you said spell it and I did.
After looking at each other for a few seconds I said look again.....
SOREEN we all shouted at Oswald.
Oh yeah – he said, but I dont understand your point.
So I asked, do you not think its weird that someone with the letter S turns up at your “house” of which you have decorated with Empty Soreen wrappers which then meets people with these letters in their name O-R-E-E-N?
I guess so...he replied.
It is strange though isn't it said Nana Sticky Fingers who was cutting up the Soreen at the time, she said as I was the first letter I should have the first piece from the plate so I picked the biggest! :)
As I was just about to take a bite everyone screamed STOP!!! we haven't said the prayer yet?I'm not really religious I said so if you don't mind I'll just devour this while you all salivate....NO! Exclaimed NANA you will join in.
So here is how the prayer went:Dear Soreen Makers of Freepost NWW 2554A, Manchester M41 3SR:Thank you for this loaf. Bless us all and keep us from Mould. Guide and direct us, through all our days. Amen!
Can I eat it now I asked looking straight at Nana.Yes dear she replied which reminded me of a Robin Williams film I once saw.
That was 10 years ago.
Where are we now and what are we doing?
Well thats for another story.....
By Steve Quinn of GhostStorm, Gaming News.